A Swann's Freedom: Chapter 33

   Pete washed the last cup and put it away. "It's closing time, Jack," he said for the sixth time. "I need to go home." The owner of the pub was desperate to close, but the pirate would not leave the bar.

"Come on, Pete," Jack pleaded. "Just one more drink. For old times sake."

"Jack, ye've had nine bottles 'fer old times sake'."

"Why do you think I'm in Tortuga?"

"Please leave."

"I don't wanna."

"Yer actually drunk, Jack."

"No, I'm not. Although... I don't remember you having a twin."

"By the powers... I can't let ye go out like this. Yer gonna get yerself hurt."

"Wouldn't matter anyways... " Jack said under his breath.

"Where be Gibbs?"

"Inn at the probably."

"Ye mean 'probably at the inn'?"

"That's what I said!"

Pete came from behind the bar and put an arm around Jack's shoulders, saying, "Come on. Let's go."

"Where are we going?" the drunk pirate asked, slurring.

"To the inn. We're gonna go see if Gibbs can sober ye up."

"I don't wanna be sober. I'll remember everything!"

Pete led Jack out of the pub. "And what exactly are ye tryin' to forget?"

"'Lizabeth."

"Who?"

"Lizzie!" He tripped.

"Well, mate, it seems as though ye haven't forgotten her just yet."

"Bugger."

~*~*~*~

   Elizabeth scrubbed the top of the table, wiping the crumbs into her hand with a dish rag. She chuckled to herself, thinking of how funny it was that she had refused to work at a pub because of the mess, yet working at a restaurant appeared to be just as messy. She dumped the crumbs into the trash bin. Liam gurgled behind her in the carrier that she had made. It wrapped around her, allowing him to sit nicely on her back without her having to hold him in her arms.

   "Sure you don't want to come back to my place, love?" a male customer named Daniel Lawson asked. Elizabeth had hoped that Liam would be a bastard-repellent, but it wasn't working out that way. "I'm sure, Daniel," she replied, grunting, "Now, go away. Oh, and don't call me 'love'."

"Darling-"

"Don't call me 'darling' either!"

"Don't be cruel, Elizabeth. Don't you ever just want to take some time and get away? Forget about being a mommy?"

   The mommy felt something behind her. She looked behind her to find Daniel stroking Liam's head. Elizabeth pulled her dagger from her apron pocket, whirled and pointed it at the man.

"Don't ever touch my son!" she warned.

Daniel was as scared as though he was looking upon the devil himself. He put his hands in the air in surrender.

   "I told ye not to rattle her, Mr. Lawson," Sean, the owner of the restaurant, laughed as he entered from the back room. The foolish man hung his head in defeat and left the building. "Thanks, Sean," Elizabeth stifled.

"I didn't do anything, miss."

"I meant for respecting me."

"'Tis no problem, milady."

   Sean's friendly smile was one of the few things that made Elizabeth's days. Ever since she'd started working at the Summer Ray, he'd been the only one she could confide in. He was a fairly older man, probably in his early sixties. He always wore his spectacles at the tip of his nose and simply refused to call anyone by their first name.

   Elizabeth had told him everything about her. Everything. Not at first, of course, but he'd proven his loyalty and trustworthiness many times. So, she'd found a friend in him and had told him everything. About Will. Her father. James Norrington. Davy Jones. The Brethren Court. The maelstrom. Her most recent voyage. Jack. Especially Jack. Sean loved to hear stories that Elizabeth told him about Jack.

"I sure would love to meet this Jack fellow," Sean had said. "Sounds a lot like me when I was a younger pirate." He felt sympathy towards Elizabeth for the sad situation she was in at the moment.

   Slumping onto a chair, Elizabeth took Liam off of her and freed him from his carrier. She took hold of the tablecloth and wiped some drool off of his face. Sean sat down next to her and blew out the candle on the table.

"Missy," he said, "you should be getting home. It's getting late and you know how I feel about you roaming the streets after sunset in a place like this."

"What if someone shows up here? They'll need someone to serve them."

"You and I both know that no one will show up this late at night. Why, hardly anyone shows up during daylight hours!" He laughed.

So did she. "Could you hold Liam for a second?"

"It would be an honor."

   The mother handed her child over to the man and pulled something special out of her apron's pocket. A compass. The compass. She opened it and the needle spun for a few seconds. It stopped, pointing out the window. Elizabeth got up and walked over to it, looking outside. Sean asked, "You miss him, don't you?"

"More than anything. I never thought I could miss anyone this much. But I know that I should stay here. Jack is better off alone, and I need to keep my promise."

"I was talking about Will."

Elizabeth swallowed the lump in her throat.

~*~*~*~

   Gibbs let out a long sigh and laid his head back on his pillow. He was glad he could be back at Tortuga, but this trip wasn't as enjoyable as the rest. You see, what made Tortuga fun for him was being with Jack, visiting all the bars, pick-pocketing the citizens and getting themselves some salty wenches. But, on this particular trip, these truths weren't so. Jack didn't do anything. The only time he spoke was to ask for a drink. He spent all of his stolen money on rum and turned down all offers of pleasurable company.

   There was a knock at the door. Gibbs groaned, "Who is it?" "It's I, Gibbs," he heard Pete reply. "I've got a delivery for ye." Gibbs opened the door to find Jack leaning on Pete for support. His eyes were red and he was mumbling indiscernible things. Drunk.

"Bring him in," the first mate instructed.

"This place is a dump!" the drunken pirate exclaimed, "There isn't even a bed!"

"Uh... yes there is."

"Where?"

He pointed. "There."

"Oh. I knew that."

Gibbs took a hold of Jack's arm and told Pete, "You can go. I'll take it form here."

"Ye sure ye don't need anything?" Pete asked.

"Actually, I'll need a cup of really hot water, a cup of cold water, some soup and a flask of rum."

"Rum?"

"For me."

Jack added, "I'll have some rum too."

"Oh, no you won't."

"You're not the captain!"

   After Pete had gotten everything, given them to Gibbs and left, all there was left to do was get Jack sober. Gibbs knew what all of this was about. Elizabeth. A few days ago, the first mate had found his captain simply gazing at the stars, talking to absolutely nothing about the girl.

   Jack flopped onto the bed and took his hat off of his head, throwing it on the floor. Gibbs picked it up and set it on the mattress, asking, "Is she really worth all of this, Jack?"

"Who?" he slurred.

"Don't play stupid. You know who."

"Watch your tone. Remember, I'm your captain."

"Jack, I'm not talking to you as your first mate, I'm talking to you as your shipmate. Your friend."

He said nothing.

   Gibbs reached for the cup of cold water on the end table and threw the cup at Jack's face, splashing him with the water. "What the-" before Jack could finish, Gibbs grabbed the other cup and threw the hot water on his face. "Belay!" Jack shouted.

"What's two plus two?"

"Four!"

"What do you steer a ship with?"

"A helm!"

"How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Two!"

"Take what you can... "

"Give nothing back!"

"What's the most important thing?"

"Eliza- Rum!" Jack frowned.

"Ha!"

"Ha? What 'ha'?"

"You love her!" Gibbs pointed and accusatory finger at Jack.

"Who?"

"Elizabeth!"

"You tricked me!" Now Jack pointed a finger at him.

"You love her!"

"No, I don't!"

"You do! You do! You do!"

"I don't! I don't! I don't!"

"Do you swear on all the rum in the world?"

He paused. "That's not very nice!"

"You love her." He could tease no longer.

   Jack's shoulders sank as he sighed. Gibbs grabbed the flask Pete had brought and chugged some rum. He stared at his distressed friend. Jack was breathing slowly and he mumbled. "Lord," Gibbs chuckled, "Jack, I've got to tell you, you have the worst luck in the world." Jack sat up on the bed. "Come again?"

"Jack, I've been waiting years for you to finally find your... significant other. Now, you've found her and she's already taken. Would you have it any other way? I like how you've worked this out for yourself."

"I didn't do it on purpose!" He was getting angry.

"You didn't have to invite her to come with you at Curdy!"

"So, you think that I started to... like her just on this last voyage?"

Gibbs took a long swig. "What are you saying?"

"... it... it didn't just start within the last months... "

"Well, when then?"

"Since... a long time."

"Jack... "

   Gibbs sat on a chair across the room. He heard a lot of noise outside his window. Jack sat on the end of the bed now, silent. Gibbs felt bad for him. Jack was his oldest and dearest friend, and he'd never seen him like this. He wished there was something he could do. He tried, "Well, Jack, we haven't been separated from her for long. Who knows? You might be able to forget about her... or get over her. I mean, it's only been about-"

"Eighty-two days," Jack interrupted.

"What?"

"She's been gone eighty-two days."

~*~*~*~

   Elizabeth sat in the chair next to Liam's crib, crying. Every night she did this. She put Liam to bed, cried for about an hour, then fell asleep to dream of Jack. She wiped the sticky tears form her eyes, onto her dress. She missed him so much. And she hated it. She hated herself. For loving Jack, for leaving him, for betraying Will and for knowing that the only reason she was still allowing herself to live was Liam.

   The baby in the crib started to cry too. Elizabeth got up and checked on him. She reached out, barely being able to see anything in the dark house. Patting his back, she tried to calm him down. Then, she felt something in his hand. The compass. "Where did you get that, baby?" she asked, not really expecting an answer.

   After Liam stopped crying, Elizabeth put him back to sleep and took the compass in her room. Getting into her nightclothes and lighting a lantern, she sunk onto her bed and held the compass in her hands. Jack had given it to her as a present, but it felt like a burden. It only reminded her of him.  

   Opening it, the needle spun, then stopped, pointing west. He was west. What was he doing? Where was he? Who was he with? What was he thinking? Did he need something? Did he want something? All she wanted was him. The compass never lied. She remembered something then:

"My compass does work," he had said, "it just doesn't point to the Fountain for me... "

"Where does it point?" she had asked. "What do you wan most in the world?"

He hadn't said anything.

"Do you not know what you want?"

"I know what I want."

"Then, what's the problem?"

"I can't... claim it as my own... it's not mine to have."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

   That was so long ago and... she still didn't know what he wanted most! And he'd promised to tell her... sort of. He'd said he might. She had to know! She had to find him! She had to ask him! She had to see him! She'd make him tell her, then leave. She'd never bother him again if he told her.

   Getting dressed, bringing the chest and fetching Liam, Elizabeth walked to where the compass led her. Something was there. Something was in the way. Water. The sea. She’d forgotten what it looked like. For the last months, she had refused to gaze its blue waves, for it was only another reminder of Jack. Now, she needed a ship and a crew. But, she couldn’t find one alone! She was a woman. She needed help. There was but one man on the island who could help her.

“Damn my unstoppable curiosity!” she yelled aloud and stomped off to find her only hope of escaping her island prison.

~*~*~*~

   Jack plopped onto the sandy shore, alone on the beach. When the tide came in, the water was but inches from his boots. He took them off and laid them aside, feeling the coarse sand on his feet. All he heard was the waves meeting the shore and the wind rustling the palm fronds of the trees behind him. The only light was the moon.

   “Something the matter, Jackie?” he heard a voice beside him. He turned his head to find a copy of himself sitting beside him. He was hallucinating again, like he had in Davy Jones' Locker.

“Go away!” Jack ordered his copy, who laughed and replied, “I don’t think so, mate.”

“What are you doing here, anyways?”

“I’m your mind, here to give you someone to talk to.”

“Well, aren’t I a lucky man?” Jack groaned with sarcasm.

“Why don’t you just end it?”

“End what, exactly?”

“Lizzie’s gone. She’s not coming back. And you’re too scared to go after her-”

“I’m not scared! What would I say? ‘Could you leave your husband--the father of your baby--and be with me? I love you’? I don’t think so.”

   Another voice came form Jack’s other side: “So end it.” Jack turned and looked at the other copy, asking in frustration, “End what?”

“Why do you bother living?”

“Excuse me?”

“Don’t pretend you weren’t thinking it, Jackie. We only say what you know in your head.”

   Jack stood up and faced his two imaginary copies. One shrugged, asking, “What’s the point?”

The other added, “It’s been one hundred and forty-seven days now and you still haven’t stopped thinking about her.”

“And you’re not getting better.”

“And she sure isn’t going to come looking for you. She’s too busy waiting for poor Will.”

“You can’t go on like this, mate.”

“It isn’t right.”

“Just end it.”

   Jack couldn’t take it any more! He took the pistol from his belt, pressing the barrel to his head. Just before he pulled the trigger, he heard someone shout, “Jack, no!”

   A click. No shot. No pain. Jack opened his eyes. He was still alive. Still on the beach. The copies of him were gone. The source of the voice he heard had come from behind him.

Calypso. She yelled, “Jack Sparrow, don’t you dare!”

   Remembering that he’d never reloaded the pistol after using it for target practice at the pub a few weeks ago, Jack sighed and put it away. The angered goddess flicked water in his face, scorning, “Do not ever tink about doing dat again! You will be very sorry!”

“Have you been talking to my father?”

“Jack, listen to me! Dere are some tings dat I cannot tell you, so I am unable to give you da real reason why you should not do dis, but you’ve got to trust me!”

“Elizabeth’s gone.” Was all he could say.

“You love ‘er… I’m sorry. But you 'ave to listen to me-“

“Let me be Tia Dalma… Calypso.”

   Jack walked away from the sea goddess. He had it all planned. He would get on the Pearl, reload his pistol and end his life. He didn’t want to live without Elizabeth anymore. He couldn’t enjoy anything that he used to be able to. Everything was cursed. The sea. The beach. His very mind. No longer.

“Jack, stop!” Calypso cried, but he did not obey.

He hadn’t heard a word she’d said. And he didn’t care.